PikminFanon:Pikmin Story Archive

The pikmin story is a fanon story serial that is ongoing. New chapters are released every Saturday when possible. The story serial's original concept was created by Peach Bulborb and is currently being written by that same user. PikminFanatic23 and Wraith are also responsible for helping the idea come to fruition.

= The Captain's Return =

This was the first story serial written, and is supposed to take place after the events of Pikmin 2. It is unknown how (or if) this story ties in with Pikmin 3.

Entry One
''Once, there was a planet, indistinguishable from other planets. However, this planet was very special, as one unfortunate space captain found out. Creatures called "Pikmin" inhabited the planet, little creatures that had a massive amount of might. The captain managed to escape the planet, and later returned to collect treasure to save his company. This was accomplished as well.''

''All of that was long ago. Olimar is a fading memory among the Pikmin, and almost none believe he will return...''

''Run! ''

That is all on this young Pikmin's mind.

''Run! Before they catch you!''

The pack of Dwarf Bulbears draw near, with their massive Spotty Bulbear leader in the very front. Its eyes are fixed on this Pikmin, hardly blinking, just fixed on the target. It barks a few words of leaderly encouragement to the young Bulbears that are falling head-over-heels trying to catch this Pikmin. Normally, this Pikmin would only be chased leisurely, but "The Intelligence" desires this Pikmin for a special reason. The Pikmin is of the Blue Tribe, and runs into a pool of water, hoping to outsmart the Grub-dogs that are following him so closely; Bulbears are notorious for their poor swimming ability. As he wades into the water, he holds up an object to avoid it getting wet. This object is exactly why he is being followed so closely. The Spotty Bulbear's eyes bulge as it spots that critical object. It knew all along that the Pikmin was carrying this object, but having it so close and yet out of reach is exasperating. The Pikmin gets safely to the other side, and this stream of water stretches for meters before there is even a stick across to wade on. The Pikmin is safe, and quickly runs toward the Onion stationed on the other side of the stream. The leader of the band of Blue Pikmin, a flowered veteran that long ago went on the quest to rescue a dear friend of the captain's, takes the object and studies it carefully. He picks it up and begins turning the dial, hearing a good bit of radio static. Maybe, just maybe, he thinks, I can call Olimar back!

Entry Two
A young man, Hocotatian by birth, lounges at his desk in his office. A sign is partially obscured, but from what can be seen, it says "easure hunter". A case on the wall displays a full set of space gear, including laser pistol, radio, badge, utility belt, and a portable scanner. The Hocotatian suddenly jumps as the radio starts sputtering to life. The man normally has it off, but by fate left it on at just the right time. The man can't hear any words, but he does hear one thing. The thing he "hears" is that the radio signal is a 587 Spaceraid radio. That kind only comes installed in ships. Realizing that this must be an SOS signal, he quickly grabs his gear, gives an excuse to the front desk for his absence, and runs out the door into his space ship.

The Blue Pikmin fiddles around with the radio, not hearing anything but static on the other end. He looks up, and realizes that it is getting too dark to be out and about. He gives the order to enter into the Onion, but stops two pikmin and tells them to strap the radio onto the onion. They do so, and the onion lifts off shortly after.

As the young man quickly pulls out the hyperjump boost, he sees himself viewing a planet that seems like something he has heard about. He spots a blue pikmin onion in orbit, and in a flash the realization hits him. He remembers that there is a lot of treasure on the planet besides just the ship so he joins the onion in orbit and sets the ship's autopilot to land the next day.

Entry Three
The sun is slowly rising on the horizon, reveling a Hocotatian spaceship and a Blue Pikmin Onion. The young man quickly tumbles out the spaceship, barely remembering to put his spacesuit on in time. Likewise, the Blue Pikmin cascade out of the onion, eager to get a look at Olimar. They begin chattering when see him. "It's Olimar!" "Olimar has returned!" "Didn't I bet you a pellet that he'd come soon?" "It's him! It's really him!" "That's not Olimar," the leader pikmin growls.

The pikmin all freeze, and look questioningly at their leader and at the man before them. Sensing their unease, the young man begins to approach them.

"Let me explain," he says, "My name is Saggitarius. I am a son of Olimar, one who has come to your planet before. I came to this planet to save a crashed ship. Can you help me find it?" The leader pikmin shakes his head and points to the radio that is strapped to their onion. "So they're gone?"

The leader quickly shakes his head, and through some motions manages to communicate that such a crash never occured. Saggitarius suddenly remembers an invention his father had given to him. It supposedly would communicate the sounds the pikmin made into words, and vice versa. He begins searching through his ship until he finds it, and then straps it onto his helmet. Sensing what he wants, the leader pikmin squeaks out some syllables, which through the headpiece sounds like, "testing" When Saggitarius communicates that it works, the leader pikmin continues, "We need your help, son of Olimar. Our land has become overrun with beasts, all commanded by The Intelligence. We need you to help us defeat it." Saggitarius asks, "What's in it for me?"

"Nothing except knowing you saved us."

Silence reigns for a few moments, but then the pikmin asks, "What would Olimar do?"

Now announcing contest! What is "The Intelligence"? '''Write a sample article about it, and put on User talk: Peach Bulborb under the section "pikmin story". If you win the contest, your idea will officially be The Intelligence. In addition, your article will be the base for the official page on The Intelligence. Below are some guidelines:''' '''*Must be at least a medium quality article. For example, saying that it is a big water dumple is not nearly as good as listing powers, looks, and history of the dumple (if you wanted to make The Intelligence a dumple, go ahead. This was merely for example)''' '''*Pictures are encouraged, but not necessary. A high qualiy article with no picture is better than a low quality article with a picture, so don't give up if you can't present a picture''' *Sign with your signature at the end

''*All entries must be received by March 30. The winner will be decided March 31, so get your article in before that time'' '''*No bad or innapropriate language. Your article does not need such content. If bad or innapropriate language is found, it will be removed. If there is too much bad or innapropriate language, (over three instances) your article will be disqualified''' *Don't put down or edit other people's work 

*I haven't decided what The Intelligence will be, so this is totally up to you!

Entry Four
''A dark aura sits brooding in a cave. A Spotty Bulbear enters, looking pale.''

Have you retrieved the ultrasonic communicator? A voice rasps, seeming to come from all over the cave.

Confusion shows on the Spotty Bulbear's face.

The radio... The voice inpatiently explains.

The Spotty Bulbear speaks slowly, hoping he doesn't say anything that would arouse anger, "It was taken by Blue Pikmin..."

''Pikmin! Did I not tell you to eradicate them all? Did I not tell you that amphibuous inability should not stop you from retrieving it? Did I not say that you'' HAD BETTER NOT FAIL ME!!!"

The Bulbear quails before the verbal onslaught, appearing very, very scared.

''A second chance is in order for you. I need you to eradicate that pikmin squad and retrieve the radio. Fail me, and you will not continue the life I have graciously allowed to continue.''

Saggitarius and a group of Blue Pikmin are looking at a crudely drawn map on a leaf.

"This is where Red Pikmin activity has been spotted, and over here has perfect conditions for Yellow Pikmin," The leader pikmin explains, pointing to various marks.

"What about White and Purple Pikmin?" Saggitarius asks.

The blue pikmin pauses for a moment, and then announces gravely, "They are in the clutches of The Intelligence. To attempt to collect them would be folly."

Saggitarius stands up and says, "Right. Let's get the pikmin that we can."

The blue pikmin barks out orders, and the other blue pikmin load onto the onion for takeoff.

Entry Five
''Yellow Pikmin are harvesting pellets and dragging them to an onion. A woosh is heard, and a blue onion and a spaceship land nearby.'' Saggitarius hops out of the spaceship, and immediately switches on his communicator headset. He looks over at the pikmin streaming out of the onion, and immediately calls them out. The Blue Pikmin leader begins explaining to the yellow pikmin what their intent is, but Saggitarius's mind wanders. It is no surprise, then, that he nearly jumped with shock when the yellow pikmin responded in a somewhat higher pitched voice than the Blue Pikmin. He fiddled with the radio, and susceeded in making it work properly. However, when the Blue Pikmin thanked them and immediately helped them harvest pellets, his voice sounded extraordinarily deep. He asked the Blue Pikmin about it, to which the veteran only shrugged. "They just have lighter voices. To much time too high in the air..." The Blue Pikmin responded, "Don't tell them. They dislike insults." Saggitarius gazed at the yellow pikmin, wondering what was the cause of their voices. He couldn't shake the feeling that the yellow pikmin had breathed in helium and had yet to fully recover. He gave a few orders to the yellow and blue pikmin, and immediately sets about using his whistle and throwing arm to assist them with the harvesting. Suddenly, a roar filled the air, followed by some high pitched squeals. Saggitarius ducks, and suddenly hears an explosion behind him. He turns around to find the yellow pikmin onion smashed to bits. Saggitarius's nerve dropped. All the shouting around him, the crashing of brush, and the shout from the blue pikmin: "Groinks!" failed to capture his attention. Then the moment was over. Saggitarius blinked, rallied the pikmin behind him, and charged at the groink. He suddenly reared in when another groink emerged, along with a triumphantly grinning Bulbear. The Bulbear roared, and a moment later Saggitarius jumped when a voice came through his headset, deep compared with the pikmin, "I have finally found you! Little Blue Pikmin, surrender and return the" a babble followed, due to the translator not knowing the words, ", anyway, return that, uh, thing." Saggitarius looked around for something to use to attack, and suddenly smiled when he noticed the berries above. Seizing the opportunity, he threw a yellow pikmin directly at the berry cluster, which burst upon contact. Showers rained down, and suddenly the bulbear and groinks stiffened before becoming solid stone. Suddenly, the rock and enemies burst, leaving nothing but shards in its place. "That was unexpected," The leader pikmin said.

Entry Six
A Red Bulborb is sleeping among some tall grass.

Saggitarius crouched low. The Blue Pikmin behind him were fearless in battle, but a Red Bulborb was a very real and very dangerous enemy.

"Ready?" He asked.

The Blue Pikmin leader nodded in response.

Seizing the leader by the stalk, Saggitarius threw him directly at the creatures backside. Many more followed in quick succession.

The Red Bulborb awoke to a start and found that his backside was stinging from repeated swats. Shaking them off, he turned around to see his attackers. A horde of delicious Blue Pikmin!

The Red Bulborb was intending to flee after getting a good look, but voracious appetites are hard to control. Seizing the moment, he caught five in his mouth and gulped them down. He took another bite, intending to take it and then flee. However, those two pikmin were delicious, and he could escape after taking just one more bite... He missed completely. Better to make up for it by taking two mouthfuls. The first only got one, and the second failed completely. Suddenly, he uttered a loud cry and collapsed, dead.

Saggitarius was shaken by the losses, but still ordered them to carry away the body. The leader noticed his discomfort and inquired as to what the matter was.

"The losses."

"Such is the way of life on this planet. We are food for them but they can make more of us. "

"Yes, but my father would not have lost so many in battle."

"You commanded admirably. Short of throwing yourself on the beast, there wasn't much more you could do. Besides, the eating this Bulborb did gave it extra nutrients from us, will make more pikmin. Effectively, pikmin are reincarnated in this manner."

Saggitarius turned and walked away, pulling out his micro-journal while he did so. He quickly punched in his passcode and wrote:

Day 7 of my expedition.

''We are making progress toward the cave where The Intelligence is said to reside. The land has become noticeably more infested with enemies that normal. Just today we took out a Red Bulborb and three Water Dumples. The Blue Pikmin leader believes that we are proceding unnoticed, but I doubt that The Intelligence will not see us coming before we get there.''

''An aura sits in a cave. Suddenly, a Breadbug comes charging in, carrying something.''

What have you found? A deep voice questions.

The Breadbug lets out a bark and shows what he has towed back: a dead Gatling Groink.

Who is responsible for this outrage? The voice shouts, indeed sounding outraged.

The Breadbug doesn't say anything.

''Your specie's muteness is something I will need to remedy. How long has this beast been dead?''

The Breadbug hops up and down, making a loud STOMP three times.

''3 hours? Not much longer, then.''

After a few uncomfortable minutes, the voice dismisses the Breadbug. After another 7 minutes, the Groink suddenly stands up.

Report, the voice booms.

"Pikmin. They beat us through bitter essence. They were assisted by a large pikmin. The ones with him were-"

Large Pikmin?

"Excedingly large. Larger than a Purple, I'd guess."

''Summon The Ancient One. Tell him he has a troublesome group of pikmin to erradicate.''

"Yes, my lord," the Groink left, no doubt left in his mind that The Intelligence wanted the pikmin erradicated for good...

Entry Seven
Sagittarius and a group of Pikmin are training in a field, using Pellet Posies to practice techniques.

Here they are.

These are the ones he sent me to get.

''They don't appear too powerful. Then again, they defeated a Spotty Bulbear and some Gatling Groinks.''

''They should make a scrumptious meal before they die. Yes, very tasty...''

"I really can't imagine that Pellet Posie being a Creeping Chrysanthemum," Sagittarius complained.

The Blue Pikmin leader replied, "Fine, then. We can just continue on our way, and you will be completely unprepared when we reach the Purple Fields."

"The Purple Fields?" Sagittarius had to wait for a few seconds, and he wished (not for the first time) that his translater mechanism where a bit faster.

Suddenly, a high pitched voice kicked in, "Don't be fooled when you get there. It's filled to the brim with Candypop's and Chrysanthemums!"

Sagittarius was a little surprised at the eagerness in the Yellow Pikmin's voice, but his curiousity was aroused, "What kind of Candypop Buds?"

The Yellow Pikmin started to speak, but the Blue Pikmin cut in, "Purple ones. The Intelligence places them there as a way of mocking us. We could probably beat the Creeping Chrysanthemums if we had Purple Pikmin, but we cannot get any Purple Pikmin since that would require beating the Chrysanthemums..."

Suddenly, a huge rumble shook the ground, knocking over the Pikmin. Sagittarius barely managed to keep his footing, but was suddenly lifted up on a huge rock.

The Pikmin below began running about in panic and gathering each other. Sagittarius wondered what was the matter, when suddenly another rumble sounded, and a tongue shot out of the rock!

Sagittarius was thrown off by a wild buck, and found himself face to face with... an Emperor Bulblax.

The Bulblax rumbled, and a moment later, a deep voice came through Sagittarius's headset, "Greetings."

Suddenly, the Emperor stopped, and sniffed, seeming unsure. Suddenly, it howled in a rage, "YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SLEW ME!"

Sagittarius was scared, and he nervously stammered, "Wh-what did I ever do?"

"You slew me and you took it! You flew away with my prized possession!"

"Wh-wh-when did I ever do that? Who am I t-to you?"

"You killed me and you took the safe, CAPTAIN OLIMAR!"

To be continued...

Entry Eight
Saggitarius was in shock.

Just a few moment ago, he was about to die due to a lunatic Bulblax that thought he was someone else. And not just anyone else, but his own father, Captain Olimar!

The leader of the Blue Pikmin given the command to attack, and a few pikmin distracted the Emperor Bulblax just long enough for Saggitarius to slip away from it. Now he was desperately trying to think of a better strategy while he watched the battle see-saw back and forth.

"CAPTAIN OLIMAR! YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME!" A deep voice rumbled. A moment later, a wet, licking sound came from the Emperor Bulblax's direction, and several Pikmin cried out.

Saggitarius immediately ducked behind a rock, but shaking indicated the Emperor Bulblax was coming his way.

Saggitarius drew a small device, a laser pistol. It would be as effective as the dozen or so pikmin that tried pounding on the Bulblax's shell, but a lucky shot might do some damage.

Saggitarius prepared to step out and take the shot. He took a breath, and suddenly noticed something. His rock was perfectly rounded, and small powder flowed in veins through it. He remembered an old story his father, Captain Olimar, had told many a time. Olimar had found a few strange rocks, and was investigating them when a Yellow Pikmin ran over and picked one up! Olimar thought that if the rocks were thrown hard enough, it would break down some tough walls. He was shocked to discover the rocks were explosive!

Saggitarius immediately dashed out from behind the rock.

"Come and get me, you obnoxious, oxygen-breathing, foul-smelling, lower life-form grub!"

The Emperor Bulblax's reply was a cry of rage so loud, the nearby Yellow Pikmin cried out and covered their ears. It charged forward at a speed that caused it to bowl over the Pikmin in front of it.

Saggitarius immediately began running, and after a few moment glanced behind and fired some wild shots.

Only they weren't all wild.

One of the shots struck the rock, which glowed a moment before a massive KABOOM filled the air. Dirt and smoke billowed out, and mingled with it was the sound of Pikmin coughing and one immistakeable rumble: the sound of the Bulblax collapsing.

Saggitarius breathed a sigh of relief. The losses were heavy, but the enemy was defeated and the discovery of bomb-rocks would help his cause.

Entry Nine
Saggitarius was happy. He had conquered many challenges, and his Pikmin force had grown from a few Blue Pikmin to a massiver army composed of Blue Pikmin, Red Pikmin, Yellow Pikmin, a dozen White Pikmin, and a large amount of Purple Pikmin.

Only one thought darkened his day. And that was the fact that he was very, very close to the Citadel. The Citadel was the supposed home of a shadowy figure called The Intelligence. The Intelligence had enslaved the entire planet, and from his Citadel he ruled with an iron grip and a ruthless army of beasts.

Saggitarius suddenly heard his radio crackle to life. He was just pulling it out when the thought struck him: no one knew he was on this planet, and no one with 15 supramiles would have a radio. He pulled it out all the faster and answered it.

"Would I like the date of my dreams? No... Well, I haven't leant that much thought... Yes I am single... No, I do not want the supscription or the mobile app. Good bye!"

Saggitarius hung up, wondering how in the world he was contacted by a dating service from likely over 30 supramiles away, and why now of all times.

"Lord Intelligence, the machine is nearing completion," a Fiery Dweevil said to a seemingly empty room.

How near? a grating voice called from seemingly everywhere in the room.

The Fiery Dweevil replied, "Just a slick paint job, some cool turbo exhaust, and a couple tesla coils to go."

''Leave out the paint and exhaust. Modify the tesla coils to launch electricity.''

The Fiery Dweevil quickly left with these new orders, wondering how someone with such rotten tastes got to power. He then thought of that Creeping Chrysanthemum who disobeyed it, and wished he hadn't. He just couldn't get the image of that Chrysanthemum frozen alive forever out of his head.

He came into a room where dozens of Dweevils were hard at work. He took out a bullhorn and called out orders, "You there, stop the paint job. You two, those are unnecessary. We just need the tesla coils, but modify them to shoot instead of go up and down."

Most of the dweevils stared at him, wondering why he had suddenly lost his fashion sense. He quickly added, "Boss's orders!"

That made everyone quickly agree. You never knew when The Intelligence was listening.

The Intelligence sat brooding in its cave after the dweevil left. It dwelled on the usefulness and the uselessness of dweevils, and found that the usefulness narrowly outweighed the uselessness. When the machine was done, many of the useful attributes would cease. And thus the dweevils will cease, when the time comes. It thought.

A small wisp of purple drifted in, and immediately The Intelligence moved to it and absorbed it. It gave him very useful information. Apparently, the son of Olimar had continued to approach his castle. They showed no signs of stopping and had even defeated The Ancient One.

That will make things a bit more interesting when you arrive, won't it? The Intelligence thought. Most interesting...

To Be Continued!

Entry Ten
Saggitarius slowly walked, his hand ready to grab a Pikmin and hurl it the moment an enemy appeared. But not a soul stirred.

He was a little on edge, being extremely close to the Citadel, home of The Intelligence. Make that extra extremely close. Like, "sneaking in through the front door past disabled guards" close.

His Pikmin were restless, and he was eager to fight. All this tense quiet was scary. He thought about what his father, Captain Olimar, would do in this situation. Get the job done, that's what. He scolded himself.

Suddenly there was a rumbling, and a floating, jelly-like beast appeared around a corner. Saggitarius supposed that if was the Jellyfloat species that his father told him about. He rushed forward, hurling Yellow Pikmin to subdue the beast. Somehow a Purple Pikmin ended up in his hand, and when he through it it impacted the Jellyfloat with such force the entire thing popped, flying around in a manner similar to the way a balloon deflates.

After 20 minutes (which felt more like 2 months), Saggitarius came to a massive iron door. He took a deep breath, knowing that absolutely anything could be on the other side. "Attack!" He shouted. A moment later a strange war cry came through his translator, and the Pikmin attacked.

The wall burst through, and Saggitarius charged through the smoke cloud to find his enemy. He suddenly heard the Pikmin choking, and spun around to see the "smoke" was somehow moving to smother his Pikmin! A quick scan revealed a pleasant fact: this gas was flammable! He quickly took out his laser gun, then realized he could only free the Red Pikmin without harm.

With grim resolve, he took out his gun and shot the clouds covering the Red Pikmin.

Saggitarius couldn't believe his ears when he heard a howl, deep and guttural and seeming to come from everywhere at once! The smoke recoiled, and grouped together to form a giant-sized version of a Pikmin.

''Greetings, son of Olimar. We meet at last. I must admit, you almost had concerned with your petty conquests. I shall enjoy testing my ultimate machine upon you and your army's formidable power.'' Said the smoke pikmin, a mocking tone that almost made Saggitarius rush without thinking.

The smoke Pikmin moved toward the back of the room, and Saggitarius at first thought it was running, but then saw what it was going for. He gasped at the sight of a machine that had a hideous, half finished paint job, and locked like an even larger Pikmin.

Saggitarius directed his Pikmin to attack the machine, but a single swipe of its chain "stalk" and half the Pikmin were felled! He called them back, then desperately looked for an opening. None presented themselves, and between the electrical bolts, the napalm blasts, and the water spray, he didn't know where to go!

Giving up yet, son of Olimar? The Intelligence mocked.

"My name is Saggitarius, and my father never gave up, so why should I?"

Saggitarius charged, grabbing a single Yellow Pikmin. He hurled that one Pikmin, wincing as it nearly got fried to a crisp and barely made it through the water droplets. He felt his spirits rise in triumph as the Pikmin landed straight on what looked like the power core. He let out a cheer as it began pulling the core out.

One of the arms on the robot suddenly whipped up and smashed the Pikmin off. Saggitarius felt his heart sink.

He desperately ran with his Pikmin toward the exit, and The Intelligence pursued. He ran for his life, grabbing one of the Purple Pikmin so it could keep up.

To the complete shock of The Intelligence, Saggitarius suddenly spun around and threw the Purple Pikmin straight at the glass viewing panel on the robot!

It hit home, cracking the plate so severely that gas started to leak out.

Saggitarius drew his pistol, took aim, and fired.

A Dwarf Red Bulborb sat sniffing on hill, trying to find some more scrumptiously crunchable grubs. The entire ground rumbled, and it glanced up to see a large ball of fire in the sky. A strange being and some pikmin were near to the it, but were not harmed.

Suddenly, it realized. The Intelligence had been defeated! It let out a loud whoop, and sped off to the nearest cave to spread the news: The reign of terror had ended!

'''That is the end of Saggitarius's story, but not the end of the Serial. If you want a sneak peek, the next story is called: "Dream, or Nightmare?"

= Dream, or Nightmare? =

"Dream, or Nightmare?" is the second story in the serial on the main page. It follows the adventures of Louie after he is accidentally left on the planet by Olimar. It presumably with detail the events of the Dream Den.

One
Darkness. Rumbling. A ship lights up the sky like a burning steak, my only hope for escape from this planet. But wait. It has already lifted off! I'm doomed!

It is getting dark, and that Bulbear doesn't look too friendly...

This hollow might provide a little shelter. If I can just survive the night...

I'm exhausted!

If that Bulbear had just left me alone, I might've gotten some sleep. Instead, I have to spend the entire night just trying to avoid it.

This place looks different. everything is orange instead of green or white. Maybe there is some food here?

I could cook up a few ultra spicy berries, but first I need to reach them.

Got it! Now I just need to cook it on my portable stove. This is going to be a long wait. Wait, what is that Blowhog doing? No, get away! This is my food, mine! Go! Shoo!

Aw, and you just had to eat the stove as well! Bad Blowhog, bad! Wait, you're the fiery kind?

This Blowhog is a good mount. I just hijacked its mind, and now I can drive it where I wish. And the moment I find anything edible, I just command him to blowtorch it.

Here is a hole. Holes often have lots of tasty stuff. Come, Blowy, lets see what's down here...

This place has a lot good eats, right, Blowy! This big green fruit is especially scrumptious. But that side of Dwarf Orange Bulborb wasn't half bad, now was it?

You know, being left by Olimar may be the best thing that has ever happened to me...

Two
Explosions are rocking the ground. That one barely missed me! Turn left, Blowy, left! Watch out!

This is bad. This is really bad. There isn't much I can do to stop. I hear more shots!

Oh, where am I? Blowy, where are you!

Oh no! Blowy, I never imagined it would come to this, never imagined I would see you face-down on the ground. Never imagined I would see you... sleeping?

That Gatling Groink on the ground, paired with the one the tower, nearly killed us. Hey, maybe Blowy isn't the only mount there is. I could control a Gatling Groink!

This mount is even better than Blowy. That hog can sleep forever for all I care. This Groink and I will rule the world!

Hey, that's a nice treasure! Let's mount it on your snout/nose/thing and take it off when you need to shoot. Now where is a good slab of meat?

Aha! Groink, use your cannon on that Snow Bulborb.

Wait! Stop! I forgot to take the treasure off. Any moment its going to be destroyed!

Wait, when did you start shooting water?

Uh, huh! When I take that treasure off, you shoot explosives. When I put it on, you shoot water. It must be a weapon off some kind!

This hole looks nice. Shoot a few shots down first, and make sure we don't land on top of anything alive!

Three
''Olumar, how cud u have made such a mistake! U left me to dye! It is so dangurus here, and if it wernt for my gatlin groink, I wud be ded!!!!!''

No something about the wording of that message is isn't right. What do you think, Groink?

You're right... Who am I kidding? I'll never get this message to him. Ugh!

Olimar can burn up in the atmosphere for all I care! We're happy here, aren't we, Groink?

I am not getting overly upset! I was only LEFT TO DIE!!!!!!!

Sigh... In the meantime, lets kill something and eat it.

Wow! If we kill that Spotty Bulbear, we'll feast for weeks! Fire in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... FIRE!

You missed? How could you have missed? You supposed to be a good shot!

He's coming this way, and he doesn't look friendly!

Run! Run like you've never run before! Run! Run! Run!

That's it? A Purple Pikmin can walk faster than this!

Grab that treasure! It looks good!

If I can just get it mounted on your snout...

There! Blow!

Balls? That's pathe...

ELECTRICITY!!!!

I love you, treasure! We'll be having roast Bulbear tonight thanks to you!

Four
Wow... Just wow...

I think that destroyed Larva is going to leave me sick for weeks... At any rate, lets go get some grub that is still whole.

Wait do you hear that?

Look at that big thing... What is that? It blows rocks like Cannon Beetle Larva, and yet it looks more like a beetle than a grub.

It doesn't matter. He'll be a feast! Pound him, Groink, pound him! Show him who's boss!

HOW IS IT STILL ALIVE!!!

All right, this calls for BBT (better battle tactics).

Let's use this electric launcher and zap him! Just shoot a ball into that little hole of his...

Dead on!

A bit on the mushy side, but he is a delectable treat nonetheless. Want some, Groink?

Five
''This is it... this is the end... I am going to die... I can't die!... I want to live... Then again, this place isn't so bad... I want some cheese...''

These and many other thoughts are pounding through my brain. Being inside a Jellyfloat will do that to you.

Where's my groink? He's preoccupied with another, even bigger Jellyfloat. If he were a little brighter, he would stop pounding the carcass and instead come to my aid.

''Turtle soup was always a favourite... I'm going to die... I want an Xbox 360... It smells like bacon in here... WATCH OUT MY LOVE!!!''

Now I'm really going crazy. If I can just signal my groink... But how?

My beacon! Of course! If I just press this button...

Yes! The Groink is turning my way. He immediately points our latest weapon, a blowtorch (I call it a topkcorc, 'cause, you know, its a fast cooker? Get it? Slow is the opposite of hot, so the opposite of a slow cooker, a crockpot, would be?...). He immediately sears the Jellyfloat, reducing it to even worse mush than before.

Thank you, Groink! Although now I am in desperate need of a bath. Come on, let's go to the next sublevel.

Now that was a feast! My Groink cooked up a couple of Dirigibugs, which made an excellent meal. I think I'll write a letter to Olimar about this level.

Der Ollimmar

''Wen down her, wach owt! Ther ar Carrenig Drigbugs, probbabli 4, mi Grink cooked up a fw. In addishon, ther shud be a Bumblig Snicbug or 3. As a mattere of fac, one grabbed my Grink and pikked it up. I vallantlee vallantle fot the beeest until finnale, wit one megga-powwrfull punc, I flowred it and frede my Grink. And tat is exzaclle how it happennd.''

Reespec but not luv, Louie

Six
Ever heard of frying pan to fire? Try blowing to bumbling. I know it sounds confusing, but try being blown around by a bunch of floating blowhogs while your Groink is preoccupied with a round object. Then get picked up and used for the worst game of catch in the history of Snitchbugs, and you'll understand my pain.

My Groink can really just die, for all I care. He's really useless.

Oh no, that Dirigibug can't mean too good a fate for him.

Yep.

Now he's done it.

HE ATE IT!

That Groink is as good as dead.

Hey, look. A broken off antennae. These Snitchbugs must be working hard! Maybe I can write a letter on it.

Der Ollim-

Toss.

-mar

Catch.

I am-

Toss.

-havi-

Catch.

-n

Toss.

-

Toss. Catch. Toss. Catch. Fumble. Catch.

This is getting old really fast...

It is time for therapy, Bumbler! Just hold still, and you'll feel better than you have in a long time.

That's it. Listen to Uncle Louie. Obey him. Follow his every whim.

Now, which one of you is the king?

You don't have one?

We'll have to remedy that. Tell your friends to pick up those weapons on the ground. Now, aim at those Blowhogs and fire!

Wow, with a sharpshooting army like that, who knows what we can accomplish!

Seven
All right! We have blazed through so many floors I have lost count... This army is really working! I am undisputed king of the Snitchbugs, and I love it! With all these guys helping me, I just have to sit back and give the occasional command. They even bring me delectable, umm... kind of gooey... okay, just plain gross food! That part could use some major improvement.

I will teach one of the culinary arts. You there, with the crazy eyes! Yes you! Get over here!

Now, to properly cook Dumple, one must grill but not flambe the sides. You fool! You just torched the entire carcass!

All right, you over the there, with the extra fingers... You come down and try it!

As I was saying, do not flambe, just grill.

That is pathetic. The thing's not even browned!

I have received news of a troublesome Bulborb patrol. Okay, more like a Bulborb sleep-off, but it is still a problem. I will write a letter to Olimar while I wait.

Much later...

Olimar treaded across the ground. His boss looked nervous, he was worried sick, and the opponents they had battle through so far. He suddenly heard a crunch underneath his boot. Looking down, he saw a note with a message on it. With a thrill he recognized the chicken scratch as belonging to Louie. He then set to the difficult task of deciphering the message:

Der Olima,

''If u ar reedin tis, I no lonner haet u as u ar cummin rescu me. But if I se mi (formmer) bosss's fat face, I wil gladdly ordder mi armmada too attack him. And yess, I du hav an armee.''