Ballad of Thames Zweihander

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Ballad of Thames Zweihander
This article or section presents information pertaining to Ballad of Thames Zweihander, a fanfiction created by Zoadra.
WraithOmniverseLogo.pngUltimate Doom
This article or section presents information pertaining to Pikmin: Ultimate Doom, a fanon game created by Zoadra.

The Ballad of Thames Zweihander is a fanfiction written by Zoadra. It recounts the history of Pikmin: Ultimate Doom.


I am an entity of explanation. I freeze time to tell you two of the coming danger. Be wary as you take in the words of ancient solitude.

Born as Thames Zweihander, he was a Gray Pikmin that lived in Lord court his entire leafhood. He then discovered dark magic, which promptly led to him being discovered and kicked out of court. As a banished heir, he lived in poverty secretly honing his abilities until his bud times. Then he was taken into the Legion as a medic but was actually inducted into the secret SHADE program. There he developed his powers more and more. Then his passion for the dark arts grew to the point of obsession. His desire to perform well became his only hobby. He lost himself to his obsession until he hit a wall in his training. He was outputting almost more power than he could take in.

In a compulsive fury, he fought with himself to seek new ways to gain more power. He went rogue from the SHADE program and went undercover as a servant in the Way of Light monastery system, searching for answers. There he learned of the Jikkū (translated as “terrible world”) and attempted to use his dark magic skills to enter it. In Way mythology, the only way to enter the Jikkū was to be banished or to pass away a nonbeliever. He attempted to be banished, going as far as burning multiple worship trees, but he would only be imprisoned. In Huenai, the Blue Pikmins' most gruesome prison, he met more Gray Pikmin and multiple White Pikmin that had devoted themselves to dark magic. He learned new techniques to draw power from others' souls in order to raise his peak level of power, but he was not satisfied. He wanted in Jikkū, and he learned of a ritual that would do so.

He met a shady White Pikmin named Ganono who could send him there in exchange for his mortal body. He said only those powerful enough could retain their memories of training, and that multiple mages had failed. Confident and passionate as ever, he committed to the ritual, which was delayed due to his transformation into the flower phase of life. He noticed foul things about his flower, with it being dry and nearly wilted. He ignored this and went through the ritual. In the ritual, he was covered in falconate, an alchemical mixture of elements that preserved one's soul in death. Instead of drifting on, the soul can not break the falconate membrane around the body. He was given a poison that instantly kills, a painless experience. Although the event may have been uncomfortable since no new souls were ever introduced to the Jikkū before this event. Thames's spirit thrashed about under the falconate membrane as Ganono transformed into a Weremin, half demon half Pikmin. He tore a hole in the falconate membrane, and Thames's soul leaked out. The Weremin's claws are known by legend to allow souls to enter the Jikkū, but no soul had ever been entrapped in a transitional state before. Thames entered the Jikkū slowly and painfully for what felt like a century of agony. He then woke up surrounded by terror and fright. His soul was weathered from being in pain for so long, and he learned to accept pain as a fact of existence.

With most weakness out of the way, the horrors of the Jikkū felt much less terrifying to him. He learned that he didn't need to draw power from anything in this state. He felt invincible and certainly was nearly immortal. He had to slay dozens of corrupted souls to rise to the top of the food chain and had no trouble with it. He then discovered hallowed souls. They, unlike demonic corrupted souls, were the echo of a once great hero. They had a century of experience and no feeling of pain or emotion in this form. Whereas the demon souls were tormented and emotionally unstable, hallowed souls were mindless and stretched their beings to the point of extinction just to become stronger. They had abilities much similar to dark magic but tore away at their souls like it was no problem. Thames envied this devotion to power and used the idea to slay entire armies of hallowed souls. He rose to nearly the most powerful soul and the only non-corrupted soul in the entire Jikkū, which contained eons of souls. He then met a special kind of soul, rare and powerful. This kind was a hallowed soul that retained the might and power of a corrupted soul, but the tolerance of pain and tenacity of a hallowed soul. It was so powerful, it was sentient. This particular hybrid soul called itself Hades, drawing parallels to ancient Imperium mythology.

Hades was known to enslave every other soul possible, save other hybrid souls. When Thames and Hades met, they were instantly antagonizing each other. When Thames didn't bow down to Hades, the enraged hybrid soul attempted to slay him. They fought for hours until Hades ran out of willpower. Thames held him at the verge of nonexistence, giving him a stalemate: merge souls or die. Hades scoffed at this offer and chose to die, but before Thames could finish him off, an army of hallowed souls marched in. At the head of this army was a hybrid soul named Morsus. He had a death wish from Hades and took the opportunity to destroy him. He saw Thames and was curious. He asked how a non-hybrid soul could be so powerful, and Thames just said “I'm simply pure.” Hades took the distraction and turned himself into stone, promptly carried away by an army of loyal hallowed souls. The two armies clashed while Thames made his escape. Morsus was intrigued by this soul but continued to push toward the regenerating Hades. Thames went through a psychological breakdown, his walls of resistance against pain breaking down. He remembered his family back in the world of the living, and he remembered his friends in Lord court. He missed them, and his soul cried out for mercy.

Emotional bursts of power were flung across the Jikkū, prompting a powerful duo of hybrid souls to approach him. Siber and Boone met him, Boone empathizing with his pain. Siber distrusted Thames and believed him to be too powerful. They made a deal: defeat Hades's army and Thames would be set free to return to the world of the living, given, that he arrange for a body to receive him. And so with the help of Boone and his band of demonic slaves, they take down the armies of the recovering Hades. Morsus had a run-in with the two but they avoided him. When they marched to the Crypt of Ruin, they found that Hades was sitting on the ancient Throne of Titans. He was being empowered by the trace particles of ancient gods sitting on the throne. A long and hard battle ensues with Boone and his slaves being terminated. Thames's rage engulfs the room and he becomes insanely strong, strong enough to actually be the god-powered Hades' equal. They fight for what seems like years while the armies of Hades and Morsus brawl outside. When Morsus breaks into the Crypt, he sees another sight of Thames holding Hades at the brink of death. He gives his ultimatum, which he remarks, “will be the last question you ever embrace.” Merge or become one with nothingness. Hades is stubborn until he sees Morsus walk in, content with the arrogant hybrid's near death. Hades sees a chance to take over Thames and exploit his new emotional state, so that he may kill Morsus. Hades hesitantly agrees to merge and he opens up his soul to change. Thames tricks Hades and absorbs his soul, completely purging Hades's consciousness. He grows in power and his desire to return home, and is on an emotional tipping point after his only friend in this realm, Boone, is obliterated. Morsus quickly becomes unhappy with Hades still an echo in Thames's soul. He declares Thames an enemy and doesn't allow for him to escape the Crypt.

So the ever-confident Thames sits on the Throne of Titans and peers into eternity, seeing the entire Jikkū universe at once. He understands many of its underworkings and realizes the supposed origin of the place, and uses this knowledge to give him an edge in battle. He begins to fight Morsus, realizing that he is incredibly powerful. He does not need to touch the Throne of Titans to be Thames's equal. Thames realizes why Hades ran away from Morsus and begins to fear him. Morsus puts up a good fight and nearly kills Thames until Siber intervenes. He temporarily freezes Morsus and uses all of his power to open a gate to the living world. He isn't able to open it so he sacrifices a hundred hallowed souls to open the portal. The portal is fixed on the new Gray Pikmin body Thames is destined to take over. It is a newborn in the Lord court, and Thames is filled with joy. Siber, knowing this is his end, motions for Thames to go, remarking that he just wanted the best for Boone. Thames enters the portal, and goes through the reverse effect of entering the Jikkū: he feels a century of joy and delight.

He enters the newborn Gray Pikmin and easily obliterates the original soul. Happy to be back in his homeworld, he lives his new life in relative peace, until his budhood. Then he had a vision of his past life; a vision of him slaying powerful souls in the Jikkū. He again has a burning desire to become more powerful. Not wanting to ruin his life in court, he works hard to slowly allow dark magic in the newly formed Academy of Magic. With a lot of effort, he forms a fraternity in the school called the Coalition of Shade, carefully allowing Gray Pikmin to learn dark magic. He returned to the Legion, who has invested in much more Shadewalkers, as they called them. The SHADE program was almost tripled in size since he last joined it. As a half-normal soul half-hybrid soul returned from perilous battles in the Jikkū, he was undoubtedly the strongest Pikmin in the second Imperium. He hid his power to continue his life in Lord court, but continued to yearn for more strength. He turned to the new Academy of Magic to learn normal magic, something he never believed could help him become more powerful. Frustrated with the difference in application, he looked to Alchemy. He learned how to mix powerful elixirs and potions to heighten his body's tolerance for power output. Eventually, he learned to cope with normal magic and even learned how to apply it to make himself more docile in combat, but his dark magic remained the same. After finding himself a seat in the Grand Imperium Council, he began to influence the nation to his will.

He continually and gradually released propaganda against Humans, many of which were joining the Imperium. Since their rediscovery, Humans were looked at as helpers that could better society. Their natural strength made them great workers with little magical effort, and their trusting nature made them loyal to a fault. Thames saw them as a threat to power since they had shown a powerful ability to lead in the workforce. So he went through with his plans, manipulating any who opposed him with mind spells. He rose to head of the council, the first Gray Pikmin to do so. He then outlawed Humans living inside the borders of the Imperium, banishing them to the less hospitable and much colder far lands to the north and south. After a hundred years as head of the council, Thames was worried he would never become a flowered Pikmin again. He searched his mind for the answer, pulling on the mind of Hades. He realized that since he was technically a hybrid soul, he needed to dominate and enslave other weaker souls to become more mature. So he gave up his place on the council and joined the Legion. He worked as a medic again, this time not joining the SHADE program and instead using alchemy to heal wounded soldiers. He used his magics in harmony to secretly venture to the far lands at night and corrupt Human souls, enslaving entire villages. Soon he had enslaved the entire Human race, and they began to shrink down to dwarfish ugly shells of their former human selves. After enslaving the entirety of humans he went through a metamorphosis and became a flowered Pikmin. However, he felt like he was not yet at his peak.

He joined the working classes as a Red Pikmin, using magical disguises. He then took on the task of joining the Monks and learning the Quinsinay martial art. It took him two decades to unlock his control of fire, and he felt empowered after that. He left for the noble courts, disguising himself as a Yellow Pikmin. He was taught as a Runesmith, how to craft various armors with runes as a source of magical power and protection. He experimented secretly with dark magic runes and found that using that method increased the efficiency tenfold. After graduating as a six-year Runesmith Master, he was still not happy. He returned to the Way of Light monasteries to pose as a Blue Pikmin and soon went into the Legion once again to become an Acolyte. He learned how to make normal water spirit water and heal with it. He had much trouble learning this, and secretly used dark magic to fuel the healing, but learned how to rejuvenate himself after any amount of physical labor. His quest for power within the Imperium ended there. He now knew how to use dark magic fueled by his hybrid soul, he knew normal magic and how to fortify and protect himself, he was a prodigy in the martial art Quinsinay, he was a six-year Master Runesmith, he was a great healer, and he knew alchemy by heart. He was amazed at how well his memory and aptitude for skills were after he absorbed Hades.

He wanted to play with his new abilities, so he ordered the Human slaves to form an army and march the second Imperium from the north and south. As soon as the two attacks happened, the Imperium declared war on the humans, referring to them as Imps. Their knowledge of humans ever existing was erased thanks to Thames. He was very successful in the attempt to march the capital city of the Imperium but he felt indescribably unhappy about this. He had managed to turn every human into practically a hallowed soul, and he began calling them imps also. Yet he was not content, knowing that the imps only followed orders, not willfully killing so many Pikmin. He decided to call off the attack and order a full retreat. He then granted a select few of each slave camp the ability to wield dark magic that was suppressed to not allow them to become too powerful. He then granted every human free will and the thought of burning rage towards all Pikmin. He watched as the attacks on the Imperium kept going, and as the imps innovated technology and used it to defend themselves and destroy the Imperium. Thames was right when he had a suspicion about them being geniuses in poverty. He wanted the Imperium to fall so much but was still unhappy with his creation. So he sought out his chances to take on ancient spirits to help make him stronger.

He researched the Way of Light and found that every spirit tree ever held sacred held a spirit over 20,000 years old. He knew how much potential energy these spirits held so he did a little field test. He went to a minor monastery that was closed for the night and sneaked into the chamber of penance. There he saw a very old tree surrounded by angelic-looking pools of glowing water. He knew this water was spirit water, keeping it from dying out. He deprived the spirit energy from the pools and his hand went through a change that morphed claws to his fingers. After being scratched by the White Pikmin mage those years ago he developed the ability to transform into a Weremin. He tore into the tree and used dark magic to absorb the soul, revealing a powerful form of energy. He managed to subdue this form and absorb it and was filled with clarity. He saw that what he had feared was true: ancient mages hid themselves in trees to live forever. They created a realm in which to live while not in their trees, but it became filled with souls floating around, which eventually formed into demonic souls and hallowed souls. Any pure mage souls fled to the trees to hide forever, trapped in fears of the demonic realm which they had created. He felt bad for the mages of the past and vowed never to desecrate their oaken tombs again. It felt strange for him to have a glimmer of hope and peace floating around in his dark magic-fueled passion and rage to become stronger. He then decided to exterminate all souls in the Jikkū, thinking that those tormented there could rest in peace. He also wondered if that would allow the mages trapped in the spirit trees peace.

He found the man Ganono again, who was a withered old man, and decided to go through the ritual again. But he found that no matter what death potion he drank, he would still live. Ganono, frustrated, attacked Thames but was nearly obliterated by his various magical defenses. Ganono morphed into his Weremin form and ripped open a hole in his chest, leaking his soul. He ripped open a portal to Jikkū and thrust Thames's soul into it once again. Thames felt no pain after the rip in his being but was considerably tired after the event. Somewhere in the Imperium his body was stitching itself back together and destroying Ganono for good. His magic was still embodied in his soul-less body and it was furious for a master. He decided to ignore that and test his new abilities in this realm. Quinsinay was functional and the fire that he produced was so hot he nearly burnt his soul. He was able to draw rune patterns on himself and they placed magical shields. He could heal himself much better than he could in the world of the living. His alchemy was limited to the few resources he had but he found that soul sand made a great stamina booster. His normal magic was as powerful as ever, almost as strong as his dark magic in the living world. He assumed it was because by nature this place was a mage's world. He could put much more fortification on his soul with magic than he could otherwise, and he used this to his advantage. He devised a system that absorbs attacks using his rune patterns and uses the energy to heal himself. He even made the fortification spells work in unison with his runes. This was all automatic and didn't use up any of his willpower or energy. He used this new power to begin to slay every demonic and hallowed soul he could find.

When the soul count in the Jikkū was dwindling, it drew the attention of Morsus. He approached Thames and recognized him immediately. The newly powered Morsus had engulfed Siber in the past and gained the ability to lower temperatures to below freezing. He remarked that once he even made a rock so cold that it began to turn into a liquid that vanished into the ground. The two dual-souled warriors began to fight furiously. All of the physical attacks Morsus dealt were absorbed by Thames, enraging him. He froze Thames only to be greeted by an explosion of fire and rapid strikes fueled by flames. Thames had the edge over Morsus, and both of them knew it. Thames and Morsus were both well into the fight when Thames procured an idea. He could cast a teleportation spell on himself and theoretically return to the world of the living without the same limits he had before. He could create a body with his enormous power and dominate everything. So he created a supernova explosion that engulfed the entire Jikkū just before transporting himself away. He didn't see Morsus die but assumed he did.

His doubt in his plan faded when he arrived in a secluded forest still as a spirit. He created a body with indestructible material embedded in magic with fortification and rune tattoos. He made it to feed off of life around him and his own potential spirit power to sustain his own, so he felt the need to test this ability. He lifted off of the ground and floated around, gauging his new flight power. He then sped upwards as quickly as he could, speeding faster than sound. He then discovered that it got very cold, and his internal flame was no longer stoked by the warmth of the world. He noticed it got very dark, and soon he was covered by darkness. His ability to fly was incredibly maximized, and he found that he could do anything without effort. He felt a wave of energy, however, and soon realized that the sun was floating far away in this intense darkness. He looked around to find a blue marble, magnificent and brilliant, hanging up in this darkness. He was shocked and filled with wonder of how big existence really was. He then saw other twinkling lights, their heat radiating from immensely far away. He, using his powers of fire, sensed that these stars were one and the same as the sun, just extremely far away. His excitement for the universe was soon replaced with the will to dominate others. He drew all of the power he could muster into his legs and leaped out with a great burst of energy, speeding towards the sun. When he reached a close distance of it, he began to feel extremely hot. He felt evermore pressured to stay alive. He absorbed all of the heat that he could. He set up thirteen magic barriers to stay shielded from the intense energy of the sun but kept approaching. He soon hit the surface, surrounded by intense pressure and heat, but absorbing heat in insane amounts. His energy reserves were bursting with fiery passion, and he felt a passion for life like never before. He realized there is much more to life than trying to become stronger and stronger, and entered a state of enlightenment. At times he felt scared, others he felt relieved. But one simple thing remained: he was surrounded by the warm embrace of time and space. He awoke to fully realize where he was. He snapped back into reality and felt an intense burning might as the sun's flames tore down his magical barriers one by one. He was barely under the surface of the sun's flames, but he was still surrounded by massive waves of roaring fire and bellowing flame. He fortified his body again and again, using his heat energy as fuel for his healing abilities, but it was useless. He succumbed to the embrace of utter chaos. He fell into the sun that day. Eternal day, as he would've described it, but his soul was being charred into madness. He felt like he was falling into an immense hole, a chasm filled with fire in the depths of the immeasurable lengths of space. His soul was banished into the fiery abyss of what he thought was hell. His heat-absorbing powers were stunted when he was over-engorged with energy. His body remained intact, trapping his soul further and further into the sun. The growing reserves of energy made him heavier and heavier, pulling him into the center of the sun. He felt like he'd be tortured for eternity, forced to remain inside a body that couldn't be destroyed by the raging depths of the sun but still felt every ounce of pain that it generated. Then he tried utilizing the Quinsinay technique of removing one's self from a situation and looking at it from the outside. He realized that the reason he was burning up in the sun is his insane lust for power and that stopping it would be the only way to have a normal life again. Dark magic, while powerful, contains a dangerous threat to the wielder: the desire for power to a fault. He then tried to stop himself from becoming any more of a monster than he already was while falling into the blazing sun. Then his logic moved him to get out of his current situation. He then realized that because his power was so immense, he could force his way out of the sun. He decided to take action and he whipped up a power as great as the sun itself and sped near the speed of light towards the planet he called home. Back on Earth, he fell to a calm forest stream, face-planting into the dirt. He caused a minor tremor in the ground but he was unscathed. He spent that moment thinking about how horrible he had become. He now knew he needed to depower himself.

He returned to the Imperium and sought ways to remove his abilities but failed on multiple occasions. He finally knew that since his powers were keeping his soul and body intact so he could never take them away without the risk of being lost forever. He feared death much more than he sought power. He decided to settle down and build a house in the northern wilds. He wrote poetry for hundreds of years until he was visited by a lone Gray Pikmin. He claimed to be old friends with Thames but he couldn't think of many friends. After letting him into his home this odd Pikmin destroyed it. His body ripped open, revealing a blurry image of Morsus. He claimed to be the King of Death, and that Thames's time was over. They had an intense battle that decimated many miles of the forest until Thames was on the verge of defeat. Thames was appalled, as he estimated that he was at least stronger than Morsus by now. Morsus gave Thames the same ultimatum that Thames gave Hades twice. Merge souls or be terminated. Although this time Morsus gave his word. He claimed that he would not lie and that if they were to be one neither were great enough to be in control. Seeing no way out, and having his desire for power slowly returning, Thames decided to submit to the merge. Morsus showed that he was sincere by cutting open his soul first, and then Thames. Their wounds met and they were both pulled into a singularity that instantly vanished.

They created a new realm in time and space filled with chaos and two emotions: morbidness and desire. The being that emerged from the blue mists was the combination of Thames and Morsus, a completely separate entity. He awoke and shot a pulse of pure chaos into the dark and steamy void. He flexed his arm and smiled. His eyes burned red and black and he laughed with a booming resolve that shook the very pillars of existence. With a being that had Thames's insane desire to become stronger and Morsus's insane desire to bring death, he was the perfect killing machine. He had no emotional distraction whatsoever. He was starting anew, and he preferred to create a name that embodies his very existence. “I am Doom.”, he shouted at the top of his lungs. The floating nebulae of his new realm quaked under his ultimate power. He vowed to devote eons to bringing destruction to everything the universe had to offer and began with the epic task of bringing doom to everything there ever was.

The story continues...